You Don't Know Jack! (The Jack Awards...)

A friend of mine who works in the Production Department of a local Television station texted me on July 6th to tell me Jack having breakfast in the morning with 'Tweedle Dee' and 'Tweedle 'Dum'and his media officer wanted the cameras there.

I replied "breakfast with Kamla AND Bas, wow, that IS news".
His sarcastic reply was "no, Dixie Anne and Dora the Explorer" and for the life of me I couldn't figure out who Dixie Anne and Dora the Explorer were so I watched the news the next night and I laughed so hard, and then i 'ketch' myself and steupsed; I texted him "You watching this circus? how the arse is this News?" to which came his terse reply "part of the World Cup Broadcast Package I think" and I realized there really WASN'T a depth too low for this clown to sink to, and there are far too many fools willing to follow him on his way.

I was supposed to make this the subject of my next blog, when lo and behold this same joker outdid himself when, in performing his 'Papa Doc' routine for the willing news cameras, promised a little boy who was kidnapped and abandoned and found his way out of the forest, a FIFA watch and a National Award for bravery.

I swear I heard my two neighbors 'steupse' at the same time at the arrogance and stupidity of this man; to think he had a right as 'Acting' Prime Minister to be giving out OUR National Awards, and that he could give one out for such a trifling reason.
Now, before you choke on your choka, I agree that it was a marvelous feat, this little guy making it out of the forest on his own, and worthy of some celebration and maybe some recognition for bravery, but a National Award?
When there are hundreds of little black boys who walk into and out of Laventille, a far more dangerous place ('gouti and manicou doh have gun) at one, two, sometimes even three in the morning, that, by the extension of this jester's logic, should all get a National Award (or maybe a FIFA watch?).

When he realized the plan backfired and instead of looking magnanimous and Prime Ministerial he ended up looking foolish, our version of the Teflon Don did a little 'two step' back pedal number and say it WASN'T a National Award he meant, it was a Jack Award.

A Jack Award.

Seems about right.

I started wondering who else was making the news that deserved a Jack Award.

Here's a short list from this week's Newspapers:

1)

WORKS and Transport Minister Jack Warner yesterday praised National Security Minister Brigadier John Sandy for the weekend just past being "free of murders", which he said was "unprecedented".
Sandy then commented: "The Prime Minister have (sic) been praying too. I've been praying too."
He then laughed.
However, three murders were recorded on Sunday night, two in North and one in the East.

- For failing to check your facts with the Express before the speech - A Jack Award.

2)

Acting Prime Minister Jack Warner has accused a UNC member of Parliament (MP) and an outgoing councillor of threatening the success of the People’s Partnership in the Local Government Election on July 26.

Warner claims the MP and councillor, whose names he did not disclose, had encouraged six persons who were rejected by the UNC as candidates to still contest the polls as independents.

He warned them all that they faced disciplinary action for defying the party’s orders.

“Our political leader and PM asked me to meet with Mr Dookeran to bring some sobriety, some sanity in this situation, this mad situation where six people, six people you know, are jeopardising the partnership. Six people who lack discipline, six people, one of whom I repeat is encouraged by two senior members of the UNC.

- For UNC styled democratic principles - A Jack Award

3)

Training his guns on Opposition Leader Dr Keith Rowley, Warner vowed “to wipe the PNM and Rowley off the face of the political map of this country”.

Warner said there was nothing Rowley can give the country at this time.

“He can’t give them drains, he can’t give them roads, he can’t give them bridges.

“Where he getting the money from? Which government giving him that?

- For a demonstration of political ethics - A Jack Award

4)

On July 7, Warner, then acting as Prime Minister, called on contractors to pave a road in T&T for free, as a gift to the country.

“I also intend to ask each of them to give me a road free as a gift to the country...They have made enough in the good days and they making still. “So therefore they must tell me, Jack, look at these roads, pick one and take anyone for free.” Responding to Warner’s statement, Mikey Joseph, president of the T&T Contractors Association, said, “I am not in agreement with this. I think it is an unscrupulous request because State procurement procedure and practice state that it must be fair and without favour or malice, but a request like this will give an unfair advantage to the contractors who can afford to give a free road over those who can’t.”

Against that statement, the TTTI issued a warning: “If, however, there is any expectation on the part of participating contractors for preference, priority or influence in the procurement of public sector contracts, this would be an unwelcome development,”

- For introducing FIFA styled gangsterism to the Government - A Jack Award

5)

President of the Route 2 Maxi Taxi Association Linus Phillip says Minister of Works and Transport Jack Warner is opening a Pandora’s box with his plans to regularise “PH” taxis.
In an interview yesterday, Phillip said Warner’s plans to regularise “PH” taxis was not only a “slap in the face” to registered taxi drivers but “is opening a Pandora’s box that cannot be closed.”
He said: “If the minister wants to do something he should find out why these drivers cannot or have not registered legally as ‘H’ drivers. “He should find out why the man running a taxi in the rural areas cannot register his car.”
Phillip said the regularisation of “PH” taxis also put the travelling population at risk of being victims of crime, as there would be no indication as to whether or not the car was in fact a taxi. He said any driver could pose as a “PH” taxi driver and then rob or harm the passengers. He added that international standards called for all taxis to be clearly identified and nowhere else in world would condone the allowing of private cars working as taxis.

- For making it easier for bandits to ply their trade - A Jack Award

6)

Works and Transport Minister Jack Warner has hit back at Independent Senator Helen Drayton saying he wants no advice from her.

Speaking in the Senate on Tuesday, Drayton suggested the People’s Partnership Government should go on a retreat and get its act together. She was commenting on the “many inconsistencies various ministers were making when dealing with the same issues.” Warner took issue with the suggestion, saying that Drayton was not independent but a PNM senator. “Who is Helen Drayton, PNM Senator Helen Drayton to give us advice. “The PNM should go on a retreat and never come back. It is because of the Helen Draytons of this world, this country is where it is today,” Warner told reporters in San Fernando on Thursday.

- For killing the messenger and deflecting the message - A Jack Award

7)

To the admin of the UNC COP group, who, unhappy with an article written about censorship and repressions under the UNC, went on to censor and remove the article. (how funny is that :)

- For the best example of irony I have ever seen - A Jack Award


I think this Jack Award could be a growth industry, not limited only to politicians, but anyone 'cocking' up epically on the national stage should receive one.

I plan to monitor the news, and bring you a Jack Awards function as regularly as the remaining Freedom of Speech allows.


To all the opportunists posing as 'Party' supporters who think that rain only wets one man's house, that political oppression and the curtailing of basic human rights and freedoms is a worthy cause to defend - There's a Jack Award for each and everyone of you.