Wire-Tap-Gate... (sung to the tune of Waterloo by ABBA)

Gabriel: Have you ever heard of Harry Houdini?  Well he wasn't like today's magicians who are only interested in television ratings. He was an artist. He could make an elephant disappear in the middle of a theater filled with people, and do you know how he did that?

Misdirection.

Stanley: What the **** are you talking about?

Gabriel: Misdirection. What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes.

[CUT]

That was the classic scene from the movie Swordfish, in which John Travolta's character Gabriel explained to Hugh Jackman's Stanley how Government really works.

Think it farfetched?

Press fast forward to yesterday and shift locations to Trinidad, now substitute Kamla for Gabriel and presto, zappo, mini panick, wire-tapping style.

Why did they do this?

Because they had lost control of their own spin on their own plot and the people weren't buying it. 

To the masses (ALL of us and this included the President of the Sheep & Goat herders Association), either Ken Ali lied, or Andy Johnson lied, or Surujattan Rambachan lied, or the Prime Minister lied, or all of them lied, because the entire story reeked of freshly laid bullshit from the get go.

[MAYDAY! MAYDAY!] Convene meeting, problem growing, implement policy of distraction.

I have said from the very start, give this Administration, their backers and spin doctors their jacket, they know how to make a buzz to kill a buzz.

I was summoned to a clandestine meeting (I kid you not) and asked my opinion as to how to handle this situation.

I suggested the firing of Ken Ali and Christine John (HR Manager), a re-hiring of Fazeer at an increased salary as compensation for the embarrassment, the retiring of Andy Johnson to the propaganda wasteland of GISL and the removal of Suruj from the Cabinet for gross incompetence and undemocratic behavior.

Here's what our Government chose to do instead:

Our multi million dollar Commissioner of Police used police to catch police spying.

Really?

Didn't we already know this?

How did this become an issue for Parliament?

Didn't they think they risked the people being underwhelmed at the revelation?

Like most Trinidadians I do not trust the Government regardless of who is in power. I have never been so foolish as to labour under the illusion that they operated on the high road or that given the opportunity to stack the game in their favor they wouldn't. Needless to say I took this spy vs spy revelation as a joke and saw it for the distraction that it was.

Unlike most people it seems, my brain needs the answer you give to at least make sense.

How is it done?

Quite easily actually; First you take a nothing issue like, say the existence of a Clandestine Corps within the police service, then spice it up by leaking a salacious revelation of the police running an 'eavesdropping' network, now sex it up more, add 'targets' like MInisters, Members of Parliament, the President and Rachel Price, and now make it sinister; let the information be going directly to former Prime Minister (and justification for Kamla's rag tag team being in Office) Manning and the gasp would be heard all aroound the world.

Okay not the whole world, but maybe (hopefully?) as far as Arima.

Now your question, why do this? 

Answer: so the whole Fazeer Mohammed story could disappear.

During a similar situation under (then) wanna be dictator Manning's Administration, I remember marvelling at the impact Anya Ayoung Chee's sex tape had on the 2M Flag story, how it stopped it dead, dead in its tracks. In one afternoon the whole country went from uproar over Issac Hunt's scolding that we didn't know the value of 'National Pride' to desperately trying to download and see Anya in all her glory for ourselves.

We are a simple people it seems, only capable of holding one thought at a time.

This is my take on this:

If there IS a secret monitoring and eavesdropping arm of the Government I would not expect anything less. In this world of plotters, intrigue, high crime and conspirators, the Government would be a fool to not be monitoring ALL frequencies.

My biggest question on this nothing issue is, if you think it despicable and you happen to be the Prime Minister, why not just pull the plug?

Why alarm the population?

We know, you know, even Party Apologist Extraordinaire and Part Time Laptop Painter Tim Gopeesingh knows that you ARE going to use this equipment simply because in this high tech high crime world we live in, you must. Kidnappers, murderers and would be plotters are not playing by the Marquis de Quuensbury rules and will not wait for you to obtain a warrant.

So, in answer to my own question 'why do this', it seems obvious to me and should be obvious to all. The Government has been caught in a heavy handed conspiracy of lie, deceit, high handed bullying, interference, and the most bungling cover up since Watergate.

This wiretap hulaballoo is more much ado about nothing, it means nothing and solves nothing. All it does is distract the people and rather clumsily at that.

To the UNC:

Now that the honeymoon is indeed over and your mask is slipping and your slip is showing, please take my advice and either retreat to your initial promise to serve the people, or dissolve the Parliament and call elections now.

You may still win, because you are aided and abetted by incompetent leadership in the Opposition camp, as the new Leader of the Party keeps finding himself wanting.

To the PNM:

Dr. Rowley, you are burning through whatever residual support people had for you like a piper on his last rock.

How is/was this your issue?

In your shoes I would have rocked back and let the political chips fall where they may, allow the enemy of my enemy to do ALL the fighting like the Americans when they used the British to fight the Germans.

You really, REALLY need an advisor, someone to tell you when to talk and when to stay quiet, because you seem to have the script flipped.

To the COP:

Silence? Really? Are you still a national Party?

Closing.

To me, the best flavor in this whole pack of gum is the people. They've grown up quite a bit since the last campaign, matured politically and seem to have dug in for the long haul. Excellent development for the country, I assure you.

Political brinksmanship and magic shows only works when the people are willing to be fooled and it's fair to say that ship has crested the horizon. We are fed up of all the pappyshow behavior and plastic leaders and I strongly suggest to all of you, either lead, follow or get to hell out of the way.

The people still want to know, who fired Fazeer Mohammed, and why.