Fire in De Cocoa... (One Week in T&T)

What a difference a week makes in this place. The recently concluded State of Emergency is being heralded as a glorious success by the government, their supporters and people who like to go to bed early, and as a dismal failure by the Opposition, drinkers, and people who prefer their reality based in truth, or, failing that, at least clever, well rehearsed lies. What we got in place of either was clumsy, patchwork, make-believe outrageous fantasy, and the effort being expended trying to rewrite recent history and tie everything up with a neat bow is making the government look ditzy. From all outward appearances it is also threatening to give  John Sandy a nervous breakdown and may well be encouraging everyone else to drink. At this point there are so many versions of what really took place that Kamla's plan to hand out medals to all involved seems almost normal, almost natural in this bizzarro place.

The Congress of the People, tired of being hammered in the Court of public opinion over the main player in the partnership government's excesses, decided to flex some junior partner muscle and take firm and decisive action. As one they rallied behind their leader who penned a hard hitting, no holds barred letter to his counterpart in the UNC  Kamla Persad Bissessar, and in what is becoming his trademark style, guaranteed not to offend. His internal election campaign promise of an iron fist in a velvet glove seems to be materializing, although some say they may have gone too far with the lace frills and the charm bracelet.

Also vying for top spot in the 'news for no reason' category, Patrick Manning hosted another one of his Friday press conferences of urgent national importance, but this time on a Saturday just to mix things up and to keep his enemies guessing; The strategy may have worked a little too well because after that particular press conference not many seemed to understand what exactly he was trying to say. Asked to comment on Mr. Manning's latest hi-jinx, PNM political leader Dr. Keith Rowley exclaimed - “What all yuh want me to do, some days he likes to dress up and pretend he's still Prime Minister so we humor him, who he really hurting?”

Not to be outdone in 'the dinosaur that roared' segment, former Prime Minister and former UNC Leader Basdeo Panday himself announced that he would be returning to active politics and was challenging to retake 'his' Party in the internal elections due next year, causing a small spike in the price of Grey Goose Vodka and making Jack Warner's speech impediment that much worse. With rumors of existing Cabinet Ministers already pledging support for the old warhorse, things do not look like they are going to settle down in that Party anytime soon.

Also in the news, the government has decided to take the Color Me Orange crazy train one step further by launching the Orange Olympics and are inviting participants to register. The Opposition has accused the government of taking advantage of poor people with foolishness, causing Prime Minister Kamla Persad Bissessar to send him a medal for 'Performance in Opposition.'

Government Senator Bhoe Tewari's thinly veiled love/hate relationship with democracy was allowed to slip this week in the Senate, where he blamed pesky politics for being 'in the way' of development when he said “Trinidad and Tobago is being prevented from advancing because of politics.” No one seemed interested in asking what exactly he would prefer in its place because some things are just better left unknown.

Ganga Singh was confirmed in the position of CEO of WASA, a post he has been acting in for some time, causing ghost Companies and make believe organizations everywhere to cheer in support.

Chairman of the United National Congress Austin Jack Warner has announced that the Party's internal elections carded for January 2012 will be put off until March to allow for the importation of medals for everybody.

The really funny thing in all of this is as farfetched as some of these stretches are, at this point in time many would be hard pressed to tell fact from fiction. Trying to keep from coloring myself perplexed I have decided to keep it simple for the balance of the year and see if I too could qualify for a medal.