Hired as chief housekeeper for a rather
prosperous family and given what amounted to a free hand over the
home's interests, I assumed the authority with gusto and did things
my way for the duration of my appointment;
In the absence of any oversight by my employers, I secured what I
considered to be in my interests and that of my friends, and I even
facilitated others in 'borrowing' from the home owners from time to time
either directly or otherwise. I hired men and women of dubious
reputation and questionable character and added them to the staff
simply because of our acquaintance, and I saw no problem in giving
plumb posts to family and friends. I kept the house in a rather shoddy
manner as I had and still have my own vision for how a house should look
and will not be dissuaded or corrected as I believe myself above
reproach.
Despite having been provided with a list of preferred chores and best practice industry guidelines which I chose to ignore, I pursued my personal agenda with vigor, lorded over the other employees in the neighborhood, and at one point I even sat on the Master's chair and declared myself to be the true and rightful home owner.
Carrying my delusion of 'home owner in chief' to scandalous levels, I hosted wildly expensive parties and invited other home owners to eat and drink for spurious and self glorifying reasons. These parties would last for entire weekends sometimes, and I undertook the cost of housing all the guests for the duration, again at the home budget's expense.
I used housekeeping money to afford costly, ill conceived, poorly planned and unnecessary renovations only so that my construction friends could get work. I looked the other way when those same friends further inflated the cost of those renovations, plunging the household into unnecessary debt as I believed that the home owners could afford it and my friends and family were entitled.
I generally ignored the children entrusted as my charges, played favorites among them and had them at each other's throats. Not a day would go by without them engaging each other violently, and the ones who resisted the violent response, when caught in the melee were dismissed by me simply as being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
As is to be expected, I was eventually dismissed from my responsibility and was asked to assist with identifying those others who pilfered from the home when I was in charge. Instead of helping the home owners recover what was stolen from them over the course of the time of my employ, I remained silent and left the new housekeeper to try and make sense of the mess I left behind.
Convinced that my firing was part of a sinister plot I am determined to exert my influence over that household in any way that I can, and anytime the new housekeeper looks like she is starting to get a handle on things and is bringing the house back to some kind of order, my friends and I encourage the neighbors' children to throw stones at the house to break the windows and to litter the yard in an attempt to keep her and the new staff busy and off balance.
Realizing that my tantrum and my year and a half of sulking silence was getting me nowhere and people were in fact starting to forget about me, I have now taken to standing outside of the gate of the property on a weekly basis, shouting at people passing by all the things that are wrong with the new housekeeper and her obvious inability to manage the house and to keep it clean and tidy. I point out that under the bed and behind the fridge are notoriously dirty and appear to have not been cleaned for years and that the budget is hopelessly in debt, completely ignoring that those years the responsibility was mine. I pray that the passers by ignore the obvious contradictions in my weekly rants but instead hope that they may persuade the homeowners to fire the current housekeeper so that I or one of my friends could get the job back. We have so much still left to do.
My name is Patrick, and I am a housekeeper.
Despite having been provided with a list of preferred chores and best practice industry guidelines which I chose to ignore, I pursued my personal agenda with vigor, lorded over the other employees in the neighborhood, and at one point I even sat on the Master's chair and declared myself to be the true and rightful home owner.
Carrying my delusion of 'home owner in chief' to scandalous levels, I hosted wildly expensive parties and invited other home owners to eat and drink for spurious and self glorifying reasons. These parties would last for entire weekends sometimes, and I undertook the cost of housing all the guests for the duration, again at the home budget's expense.
I used housekeeping money to afford costly, ill conceived, poorly planned and unnecessary renovations only so that my construction friends could get work. I looked the other way when those same friends further inflated the cost of those renovations, plunging the household into unnecessary debt as I believed that the home owners could afford it and my friends and family were entitled.
I generally ignored the children entrusted as my charges, played favorites among them and had them at each other's throats. Not a day would go by without them engaging each other violently, and the ones who resisted the violent response, when caught in the melee were dismissed by me simply as being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
As is to be expected, I was eventually dismissed from my responsibility and was asked to assist with identifying those others who pilfered from the home when I was in charge. Instead of helping the home owners recover what was stolen from them over the course of the time of my employ, I remained silent and left the new housekeeper to try and make sense of the mess I left behind.
Convinced that my firing was part of a sinister plot I am determined to exert my influence over that household in any way that I can, and anytime the new housekeeper looks like she is starting to get a handle on things and is bringing the house back to some kind of order, my friends and I encourage the neighbors' children to throw stones at the house to break the windows and to litter the yard in an attempt to keep her and the new staff busy and off balance.
Realizing that my tantrum and my year and a half of sulking silence was getting me nowhere and people were in fact starting to forget about me, I have now taken to standing outside of the gate of the property on a weekly basis, shouting at people passing by all the things that are wrong with the new housekeeper and her obvious inability to manage the house and to keep it clean and tidy. I point out that under the bed and behind the fridge are notoriously dirty and appear to have not been cleaned for years and that the budget is hopelessly in debt, completely ignoring that those years the responsibility was mine. I pray that the passers by ignore the obvious contradictions in my weekly rants but instead hope that they may persuade the homeowners to fire the current housekeeper so that I or one of my friends could get the job back. We have so much still left to do.
My name is Patrick, and I am a housekeeper.
Hello Dude,
ReplyDeleteNice information! Housekeeping involves doing basic cleaning tasks in a house, hotel or other location or the department of employees who manage and perform cleaning tasks. I hope that it eventually proves easier for you the reader to follow the postings and comments.