Prakash, History on Line One....

I know it's impolite to start a conversation with a question, but could someone tell me honestly what purpose does this 'People's Partnership' serve now? To fight whom, the ghost of Christmas past? And if (as some within that organization says) the ideal situation is a coalition as it represents true national unity, then why not invite the PNM to join and do away with the Parliament altogether? What criteria is keeping them out?

The truth of the matter is we do not need a coalition Government anymore as it has served its principal and primary purpose at the General Election of 2010 and those who are still defending and promoting it are guilty of misleading the people. Thinking people everywhere knows that the country would be much better served by an 'independent' Congress of the People, freed from the UNC's Party line and able to vote conscience with or against the Government on national issues, functioning as a counterbalance of sorts against any excesses and abuses in the Parliament.

For the UNC the loss of the 'special majority' the current arrangement brings might be inconvenient to their agenda, but to the Congress of the People, this presents such a marvelous opportunity I don't know why it is not being openly discussed with the membership. Think about it; harnessing the power to make and break policy from a Congress of the People position will raise the Party's stocks and would attract disenchanted PNM and UNC supporters tired of the tribal politics and of defending the corrupt practices of the past. On any scale this is a win for the COP and the only obstacle to progress may be the ambition and character of the current leadership or their shortcomings.

Surely the members MUST know that this term would be the only term in Government the COP will ever see if the Partnership charade continues, because like it or not the Party is in a lose lose position, being seen both as the 'weaker' junior partner in the government as well as complicit in some of the more questionable decisions by the ruling UNC government. 

Does Prakash Ramadhar have Prime Ministerial qualities? Does he see himself as a 'First among Equals?' If the answer to either question is yes then what is he waiting for? The opportunity is ripe for the picking, the politics pregnant with desire for a real and substantial alternative, and any political observer worth their salt could tell him that this moment will never come again. The next election will be a straight up dog fight between the UNC and the PNM if the COP does not seize some yard space for themselves, because nobody is going to be giving them any. Simply put, they would have nothing by then with which to bargain; no support base, no money and more importantly, no credibility. It's literally now or never and I want to be on record as having said it.

Handled properly the COP could end up with more say in the government than they have at present because the UNC would be foolish to try and play hard ball and risk losing everything. As arrangements go this would be a win win for all the people as the country would get a House of Representatives functioning in ALL the people's interest for the first time in a long time, courtesy of the Congress of the People.

At some point Prakash and crew are going to have to answer to the members for their lethargy, and I cannot think of what they could possibly say if they allow this moment to slip by; they are going to have to let the people know if their own personal positions trumps the wishes and aspirations of the very members who put them there.

There is an old saying, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Prakash is now in a position to deliver to the members of his Party and the people of this country real and substantial change, the question comes down to the size of the fight he has in him. Based on the decisions he makes in the short term and immediate future, the members themselves may have some deciding to do.

Down the Rabbit Hole...

The expedition that we are on into Alice's Wonderland seems intent to continue unabated and without respite. The latest salvo in the war against reason was the announcement that the security forces had already arrested either seven or twelve persons (depending on your source) in relation to an alleged unearthed plot to assassinate none other than the Prime Minister herself and some of her colleagues in the Cabinet. Among those detained in this scandalous development is the son of a well known (now deceased) contractor who himself was recently made famous due to quantities of drugs and ammunition discovered in his home, a notorious member of the Jamaat previously charged with murder, alleged radical Muslim clerics and high level police officers as well as others, or so we have been told.

Now, not meaning to downplay what is otherwise a very serious situation, but I would think based on the divisive and confrontational nature of our politics as well as the significant sophistication of our underworld, threats of this nature would be par for the course. Former Prime Ministers have themselves weighed in on the announcement and agree on that point, that barring some substantial and new development where things of this nature are concerned, announcing a threat against the government to the people brings needless anxiety to the nation for no useful purpose. What could have been the intention here? What can public knowledge of these circumstance (whether plausible or not) hope to gain the government? There is no easily identifiable advantage to this and none were disclosed, leaving the masses to assume that at the very least this could be nothing more than a stunt or hoax by a government whose members have now squandered whatever political currency and authority with which they came into Office.

The people for their part seem to be tiring of these charades in the public arena and may have become inured to announcements that offer 'just enough' intrigue to sound plausible but not enough substance to be believable. Not wanting to use the analogy of the boy who cried wolf I am hard pressed to find another more apt, and now that hardly anyone believes the government (including in these matters of seemingly urgent national importance), every announcement from captain to cook leads to a debate as to credibility. That they have lost the trust to govern is a given, and if ever there was a reason to dissolve the Parliament and call an early election, this would be it.

If reasonable people are expected to do reasonable things if not always then at least often, then it should be reasonable to expect that at some point governance under this administration would become less obtrusive and jarring as time wears on. We simply cannot carry on as we have been from one crisis to the next and expect stability to be the order of the day, it does not work that way. The tone of a society (especially small societies like ours) are set at the policy level from the top down. If as some have speculated that much of this is tomfoolery designed to distract for short term gains for friends and accomplices then there will be a political reckoning at some point. That this government cannot survive beyond one term is all but a foregone conclusion and I am sure even they know it by now, but the damage that is being done to the 'sugar belt' Party will outlive them and render that organization stranded in obscurity for generations to come. Whether such a development would be good or bad for our politics will be decided by the people's ability to produce a 'replacement' Party to fill the gap that our adversarial system of governance requires.

This nation is in desperate need of calm assertive leadership and stability at the helm for a change. Everytime we see our Prime Minister or representatives of her government making public announcements it should be to advise us as to ways in which they are working to improve our lives full stop. It appears some of them may need reminding that they are in fact public servants in the people's employ and any notions of royalty and other distracting delusions of grandeur need to be dispelled.

Wine and Bend Over...

Between the former disaster of the strutting dictator 

and the present dilemma of the drunken master 

we in this place taking jam front and center

but doh study dat, wine and ben over....

Rich man poor man tief and beggar
Everybody wet in de same setta water
rain fall, man bawl, like town on fire
Jump in de line, we feelin' fine, wine and ben over

Raise yuh glass, shake yuh rass, toast to Mother Nature
Down de road, shedding load, everywhere wet with karma
Wall fall, fridge and all coming down in de river
Slip in de wet, nobody fret, wine and ben over

Dan is de man with de people's plan, sharing hamper
brooms and mops, a bag of hops, two roll of toilet paper
No steel in de wall, bound to fall, whey de contractor?
Time to lime, doh waste no time, wine and ben over

Panic all around, house fall down, where de media
Everything fine, the sun will shine, cool yuh temper
Buss a smile, stay a while, wave at de helicopter
Turn around, sing de song, wine and ben over

Landslide, Government pride, somebody bring a camera
Hustle and rage, set de stage for de strike a pose theatre
Planning done and 'one iz one' so say de Minister
When nine days pass, we go play a mas and wine and ben over 

State of Absurdity...

At the height of Monday's flooding disaster in Maraval an overseas friend who commented why don't we declare a State of Emergency and who was very surprised when we told her that we were already under a State of Emergency asked (jokingly) what was the next step up?

Sometimes we really do need to laugh in this place, for what she exposed was the reality of the situation, where the thing that was designed to deal with something other than what it was used for now seemed powerless to deal with what it was intended for. In answer to her question others chimed in and made suggestions of different 'States' we could 'declare.' Someone suggested a 'State of Calamity' to describe the lack of clear evacuation routes and early response, someone else offered a 'State of Catastrophe' based on the absence of plans to which the people could turn to when order gave way to chaos. Another suggested a 'State of Stupidity' because the disaster we were dealing with was all of our making (which may very well have been our starting position in the first place), while a 'State of Indecency' was offered to describe the grandstanding by politicians from both sides of the yawning divide who chose instead to take advantage of the suffering for shameless self promotion. A 'State of Uncertainty' was suggested to describe the same politicians when asked questions as to cause and possible solutions, as was a 'State of Confusion.'

Looking on as one system after another failed at protecting the public from an afternoon shower I could not help but feel a little ashamed, having been privy to suggestions, plans and policies that could have prevented this if implemented years ago. If Saturdays downpour and flash floods were a joke, Monday was the punch line. At the entrance to Maraval (and as if to announce what was about to happen), the newly constructed Country Club wall collapsed early on, making a fortune teller of that organization's engineer who foretold of its collapse based on poor design, paucity of structural steel and the lack of weep holes to prevent what occurred from happening.

The Minister responsible for Town & Country Planning said that it could not do its job as currently configured, which of course begs the question as to why anyone is paid to work there. The political misdirection employed in these situations required the announcement of the drafting of 'new' legislation, 'this time with teeth,' as the old one apparently stopped at gums.

The Minister of Legal Affairs mistakenly donned his Political leader's hat for the day and 'waded in' to help with the clean up, when he should really have been sharpening his Ministerial pen to go after those who brought this preventable tragedy upon us in the first place.

The Minster of Works was hard pressed to explain why nothing worked, and the Prime Minister herself promised that things would be put in place to prevent this from re-occurring, eerily similar to the same promise she made last year in Central when the same thing occurred.. The Leader of The Opposition was aghast that nothing seemed to work, but one would think that he should be accustomed to this having himself been the Minister responsible for the non functioning Ministry of Planning in the recent past.

Beset on all sides by law breakers, deal makers, opportunity takers, and a coalition of the bungling and the inept in public office, this was always going to be where we ended up. Regardless of what Mother Nature throws at us our first response is always going to be a joke, because between Saturday's preview and Monday's catastrophe nothing changed, nothing new was put in place and no one was made to account. No cancellation of leave, no evacuation plans and emergency shelters were advertised, no resources deployed to suspected trouble spots despite the forecast of coming bad weather. Now that we've had Monday to demonstrate how quickly things could go awry whether we prepare for it or not, surely the people of this country must be anxious to find leaders and public employees who are able function at levels higher than what we witnessed this weekend. In answer to my friend's question, if this is not a 'State of Absurdity' then surely we're close.

The Blame Game... (Can't We All Just Get Along?)

Reading an article in one of the daily newspapers I found myself flabbergasted and bowled completely over by a quote attributed to Austin Jack Warner, who suggested in an interview that we should bring an end to what he calls the 'blame' game because there is, in his words, critical work to be done.

Did I go mad or did he? One of us had to, because my eyes could not believe what they were reading, or maybe more got washed away in Saturday's flood than I realized, but did he really say that out loud and in public? Really Jack? Forgive and forget? That statement did not only require balls, it called for the bat and the wickets too. I mean, give Jack his jacket here, the man should receive an award for this display of sheer gymnastic audacity. I also could not believe that the newspaper ran the article without ending it lol (laughing out loud). Seriously. I am well past thinking these people of capable of shame but oh gosh, they have you dead to rights man. That the advisor to the gifted (they weren't bribes, they were gifts) felt he was in a place where he could put that out there really says a lot about how low we've sunk, and I wonder if he saw the irony or was just acting on an opportunity?

Pushing forward into the delusion for a minute, if we were to contemplate taking this idea seriously then I would like it to go a couple steps further. I would like to suggest that we open the jails and let everybody go as long as they promise to get busy working critically. This could lead to long overdue vacations for prisons officers and would allow for a vacuuming and a mopping of the facilities. While we're at it we could also cancel all pending criminal cases before all courts and let everyone know we're starting fresh. Apologize to the victims and try to get them to understand that if forgiveness is divine, then national forgiveness on this level could possibly qualify us for a visit from the Pope or maybe even George W. Bush. Someone should put out a call to Calder and let him know he is now free to return and compete with Ish head to head for new contracts. Lawrence and Andre should be apologized to as well and paid any outstanding salaries right out of the Treasury to make up for any inconvenience that tiresome Commission of Enquiry may have caused. Speaking of which, the Commissioners of all Enquiries should be thanked, paid in full and either sent on their way or invited to join us for a tropical vacation now that we have no more need of their services.

Who does that leave? Ah yes, drug lords. We could forgive all drug lords for all the drugs that they have currently in their possession as of today's date, and they should be required to bring them in to have them officially stamped to make them 'legal.' Any drugs seized bearing a date stamp will of course be returned with an apology, while any seized that do not will be fed to rats or used in future disappearing magic tricks.

Who else can we forgive, Manning? How about we forgive Patos and give him back his job? Tell him it was all a big joke ha ha, tickle him in the ribs and move out of his way so he can carry on smartly. Really. If we're all going to be stupid then let's be massively stupid to infinity and beyond.

No Jack sorry, we cannot put an end to the 'blame' game, it's the only game we have. We are so terrible at the 'prosecute and charge' game that ALL the people have left is the 'blame' game. Leave them with that nah, as the white collar criminals who have blazed a 'ten finger discount' trail through this country are so good at 'thief the money and keep it' game. We lose consistently at the 'hire big lawyers and walk' game, and Heaven knows we will never win at the 'get the money back' game, not when large portions of it are used for legal fees and for 'gifts.' As this is the only game we have we're going to have to hold onto it for a while longer.

Pull Up Selecta... (Go Easy with the Democracy)

With the people distracted by the lifting of the curfew and the return to excess the Government of the day seems in a hurry to push some questionable policies, programs and legislation through in quick time. Innocuous and harmless in intent on the surface, they all seem to share a common trait in that upon closer examination real concerns manifests themselves.

The first of these grand ideas wants to spread taxpayer funds over depressed communities to seed development which sounds like a good thing to do. When the project is named Color Me Orange and aimed at Opposition strongholds it begs questions which it doesn't answer, and even the normally vociferous among the PNM front-liners fail to notice that Color Me Orange could well and deliberately be a euphemism for putting some UNC yellow into the PNM red. If this plan was designed to make it all right for PNMites to support the ruling Party 'just a little bit' then whoever created it deserves an award, but he should not be allowed to use taxpayers funds to do it. Beyond the Machiavellian politics what it will in fact do is further undermine the people of these communities and deepen the dependency syndrome by granting hand outs in exchange for make work labour. And while this capital injection may be a boon to the businesses that lost out to the curfew, what it will also do is leave a trail of destruction in its wake as these same people once again exchange bought loyalty to 'eat ah food,' something that if not sustained, usually results in increased crime. 

I would like to suggest that this same seed money be used to create hundreds of 'Micro Business Development Parks' throughout the country especially in the depressed communities that can provide space at pepper corn rent to encourage and support entrepreneurs and small business start ups.  From tailors to seamstresses, snack food makers and bakeries, artists, crafts men and other small operations, this plan would provide a chance at establishing themselves in a way closed to them before. Subsidized electricity, free broad band and cheap natural gas could also be provided to give them a tremendous competitive edge at the critical start up phase, and properly executed, could move many from being job seekers to job providers in  no time, creating an environment of hope and opportunity once again.

The second issue that caught my attention is the Government's plan at establishing what, to my mind could only end up as a private police force that by passes the constitution, concentrates power in the Executive and undermines the democracy. Yes we need massive reform and redevelopment in our police service but further undermining and undercutting it is not the way to go. We may not be happy with the speed of progress but Commissioner Gibbs is bringing new ideas on stream, and with the bookends of Ramesh Deosaran and Gillian Lucky to provide some stability to the thing we are in an excellent place to begin the work of creating a twenty first century police force. I am loathe to support giving ANY government this type of unrestricted power and I call on the Prime Minister to thrash this idea and return instead to working with and building on the Constitutionally provided for and Service Commission regulated Trinidad & Tobago Police Service. Augmenting duties with the establishment of traffic wardens is one thing, putting unregulated power to restrict liberty in the hands of politicians is something else entirely. This is one idea that should never see the light of day and should be resisted by the population as vociferously as possible.

The final issue that demands our attention is the legislation being put forward by the Minister of Justice that seeks to challenge the rights of a person at the most basic level, is over zealous and allows for the re-violation of a victim in the name of crime fighting. Passing laws that allows the State to violate a person's right to privacy of their very person is the longest drop on the slippery slope and leaves us not much further to go in the surrender of all rights and freedoms. This Bill may have its genesis in good intentions (if that is indeed the case) but it must find its demise in even clearer and loftier ones. The government must be made to know that we will not support legislation that undermines our constitutionally guaranteed civil rights and we insist instead on deepening them further through consultation on a wide range of issues nationwide.

The members of the government needs to be told that the job before them for which they were hired is simple to the able and easily accomplished by the qualified. The bigger question that needs to be asked before we further fritter away our enshrined freedoms is if the people that are trying to do the job are in fact capable of doing so in the first place. That answer may well decide everything else in my opinion and guide as to where we ought to go from here. 

Saving Hope...

In early August of this year the Jericho Project embarked on a mission of heart that we hoped would accomplish among other things - to send much needed food to drought ridden and war torn Somalia; to bring that issue some regional if not international exposure in the hope that other nations would see it fit to send food also; and to give us here at home a chance to make a grand unselfish gesture out of nothing but our own simple humanity. 

We sent out a press release and Cans of Hope was born. The project was named 'Cans of Hope' because if food from a tiny island a million miles away could find its way to the hungry in Somalia then surely peace could break out and the famine could end, and also because we name all our events hope. As has become the custom now our members and supporters got down to the task and we began the work.

Hope is a powerful thing. It makes believers out of doubters and helps others hold on despite adversity. We put out a call to the national community and got offers of help from diverse corners of the country. Valdez & Torry International undertook to create the event's logo at no cost (as usual) and secured an offer from Scrip J to print our banners for free. The Congress of the People allowed us to use their Flagship House as a drop off point and meeting zone and Hi Lo Food Stores offered to let us use their network of stores throughout the island as collection points also. New members signed on including well known activist Nalini Dial, political activist Wendell Eversly and COP D'abadie O'meara member Kerry Ann Sudama. The Islamic Relief Center also volunteered to help and joined us, as did Dirk Gibbs from Tobago as well as many others too numerous to mention.

In no time at all we had food being donated. It wasn't pouring in but it was coming. The State of Emergency's announcement buried our first real press conference and we sort of limped along from that moment on. We looked at different ways to raise the profile of the event to get it top of mind or at least news worthy but there was just too much going on in sweet T&T for a feel good story about the little engine that could. We lost momentum and we lost some volunteers but we still tried to keep it going. Our ideas for a concert and a telethon got good support volunteer wise but again was getting lost in the noise. We were also having great difficulty securing the actual getting of the food to Somalia so a decision was taken to stop everything related to the concert until April next year and to start looking for alternatives to donate the food we were collecting if it really proved impossible to get the donations into Somalia. We decided to stop any further food collections for Somalia and put the word out through all of our groups, networks and pages that any food that was donated now would be used for families and communities in need right here at home. We also agreed to turn over all the food we had at that time to the Islamic Relief Center and Wendell Eversley who wanted to try to get at least one container into the country. As of this writing we or they are no closer to that happening despite offers from the Red Cross to assist. Rumors abound of deteriorations in conditions due to violence and that nothing is being allowed in. We will be guided by the efforts of these few until such time as it could be considered not possible.

As of this writing the decision remains. We have agreed to work with local community groups and projects from Diego Martin, to El Socorro on to Matelot and we plan to continue to collect food for these and other local groups instead. As of now we are still collecting food and clothes from anyone who would like to donate, but ALL of it will be used for locals in need until after Christmas. If by some miracle we also end up getting the food to Somalia then we would have all done a good thing. If it cannot happen then that food is going to be used for local charities also. We intend to keep you informed every step of the way.

Phillip Edward Alexander
Chairman
The Jericho Project

Scenes from the Protest... (Live from The Square)

Looking on at the developments with the Occupy Wall Street Movement in New York I cannot help but feel impressed at the camaraderie and commitment of the people, the sacrifice, the generosity and the love, and at the same time I cant help but feel depressed when I think of my own country and its people, who, unless it's for a visa or early bird prices on all inclusive tickets, not getting up early, lining up anywhere or inconveniencing themselves for nothing.

Is it that we're just one big spoilt nation?

Maybe that's it. Imagine if by some miracle you were able to get hundreds or thousands of Trinidadians into say Independence Square without the use of Machel Montano as the draw, and assuming they were there for the demonstration and camped through the night, what would be the situation like the following morning?

In my mind's eye I am playing the role of media reporter complete with camera in tow, walking through a veritable sea of make shift tents and coverings that started from just opposite the Hyatt and continued uninterrupted all the way to the Cathedral. We are observing as journalists and interviewing for the record what is taking place.

This is all imaginary, but this is Trinidad, so you know anything could happen:

“Here we are folks, on the first morning following the impromptu gathering of demonstrators here on Independence Square in Trinidad. Protesters turned out in their hundreds last night and have remained to continue in what the foreign media have dubbed Occupy de Promenade. We hope to get some interviews to find out what exactly the protest is about, and here is someone right here.
[US] “Good morning sir, would you mind answering a few questions for us?”
Clears throat and smiles broadly “Not at all”
[US]“Why are you here?”
[Smiley] “I wanted to see the Minister of the People about a job and when they said on TV dis morning that all the media was down on de Promenade I come down here because ah thought he woulda be here too.”
[US] “So you have nothing to do with the protest?”
[Smiley] “No, I'm a plumber. And ah does do lil carpentry too. But mostly a plumber. You see the Minister?”

We move on into the crowd searching for someone who could tell us more about what is going on here and why. Peeking into one of the make shift shelters:

[US] “How are you this morning?”
[Chubby Bareback Rasta Guy] “I real vex. Yuh woulda think that with all a dis going on somebody woulda think to organize some kinda corn beef sandwich and milo or somting. Dis not easy. We outside here whole night. Mankind horngry horngry, KFC sell out since nine last night and nobody eh even pass and bring a lil cheese sandwich self. Steups. If we wasn't already protesting dis we woulda have to go and protest dat oui...”
[US] “What are you protesting here?”
[CBRG] “I not sure. I get a text las night sayin everybody on de Promenade so I come down. Next ting I know iz cause no taxi to go back and I end up sleeping here. I not no vagrant to be sleeping on no cardboard in town...”
[US, (preparing to leave)] “Have a good day sir”
[Chubby] “What you mean have a good day? I hope it doh rain. Nowhere to charge phone. Who organize dis?”

We are alerted to a scuffle and we join the crowd heading in the direction of Nicholas Tower to see what it's about. We arrive just in time to see two women locked in combat over what appears to be a small dog. I am straining to get a view between the CNN and BBC reporters when one of them is asked by a reporter what the fight is about and she screams into the microphone “....she try to tief mih weave...”

We walk further east in the direction of the Cathedral, hoping to find someone to shed light on the demonstration. Within the sea of people there is a man with a megaphone and I make my way to him.
[US]“Sir can you tell us why you're here?”
[East Indian Guy] “I was outside Kemlani's getting ready to make the days announcements and then all these people just come voosh and next ting I know I all de way down here.”

I make my way to Cipriani Statue to make my report:

“From what we gather all of this is the results of a prank text forwarded mercilessly and well, the results are plain to see. Will this protest accomplish anything? Highly unlikely.”

But then, this was all imagination anyway, because it could never happen in reality, if we were going to occupy anything in T&T there would have to have entertainment for us to even show up, and it would have to be catered for us to stick around, wouldn't it?

National Bullshit Council...

Of all of the changes that this country could use urgently, none are more important than a National Bullshit Council. Set up to be a watchdog over everything, it would be allowed to weigh in on anything where the people's 'right to know' is concerned. Wouldn't you like to be told at the end of every political announcement by an authoritative voice that what you just heard may have in fact been bullshit? How about the advertisement that says a particular brand of soft drink gives you happiness but omits to tell you that it also gives you diabetes, wouldn't you like there to be an organization responsible for steering you straight? We would too, so, without further ado, here are some examples of recent times when it would have been extremely handy to have a National Bullshit Council:

- When Patrick Manning recently called his dramatic press conference of urgent and national importance to 'apologize' to all the people that he may have 'wronged' while he was Prime Minister we were forced to test the announcement for traces of bullshit. And while some are happy that he seems to have found his humanity, others are scoffing at this demonstration of way-too-little much-too-late suspect piety. Thinking everyone in the country are as easily fooled as his supporters, Mr. Manning is once again guilty of making a mess of the language by forcing his reality on the facts. What we are all awaiting is his press conference to announce his retirement from active politics and the sooner he does that the better. We at the National Bullshit Council see this latest bit of hypnotic trickery for what it is; unadulterated 100% bullshit.

- Brigadier John Sandy treated the entire nation like school children when he informed us that he saved us from something by recommending a State of Emergency but could not say from what exactly, and despite saying it with his sternest face we all saw it for what it was, misidrective bullshit. Unable to acknowledge that his government's failure to get a handle on crime made everything else that they said and did irrelevant, he and they went for the draconian step that many would have been willing to put up with had they been honest and up front about their reasons in the first place. That they chose to 'spin' it instead has made a bad situation that much worse, and now the people have no choice but to wait to get their Constitutional Rights back from the same bunch of jokers they can't wait to fire. If that is not bullshit, we don't know what is.

- The entire nation gasped in disbelief that Ishwar Galbaransingh and Steve Ferguson were successful in their bid to thwart extradition to the United States to answer charges for crimes committed in that jurisdiction to which they are all but assured State sponsored food and lodging. Listening to the Attorney General speak on these matters almost calls for a secret decoder ring as one is never sure if one can believe what is being said, and it is clear that the government's default position in matters like these seems to be 'if you cannot intrigue them with your intelligence, baffle them with bullshit.' Attorney General Anand Ramlogan is a master of the craft and we at the National Bullshit Council believe that he deserves to either receive an award or to have one named in his honor.

- When Kamla announced her 'Sponsor a Gangsta' program called 'Color me Orange' recently, our bullshit detectors almost exploded. Now three hundred million dollars of the people's money is going to be spent on a program that hopes to add some UNC yellow to the PNM red worn in those areas. That they are not even trying to hide their intentions anymore is tragic, and while this is of course bullshit, it's also funny.

- While lovable lunatic Mayor Louis Lee Sing is being thwarted in every step at enforcing the law, the residents of Woodbrook are once again free to inhale the lovely scent of fresh urine in the morning. Literally depending on which side of the fence you're on, this is a clear example of bureaucratic bullshit gone wild.

- When TV6 decided to thumb its nose at decent people everywhere by reinstating the Rape for Ratings programme we thought we should point out to them that in so doing they may have inadvertently made a lie out of their sign on prayer. While we are the last people to tell people what to pray for, we are the exact people to tell you that doing the opposite of what you are praying for is the textbook definition of bullshit.

- Leader of the Congress of the People Prakash Ramadhar has decided to use his considerable political weight and has declared war against racism and visible panty lines. That there are so many other pressing issues that could be addressed by the Government's 'B' Team it's not funny, and while we accept it for the coalition bullshit that it is, we at the Council are also willing to be wrong on this one. We look forward with eager anticipation to the outcome of this endeavor and would welcome that Party's Green Paper on Race Reform in Trinidad & Tobago as well as the much needed legislation that criminalizes bingo bags.

It is clear to see and based on the few provided examples from amidst the plethora of questionable pronouncements being made on a daily basis, we do in fact need a National Bullshit Council and the sooner one is established the better. There are many well established and talented bullshit artists at work in this country who should be asked to serve on the Board, as it is a globally accepted truth that no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to bullshit a bullshitter.

Leading Nowhere...

There is no escaping the fact that Trinidad & Tobago is suffering from a severe crisis of leadership in every sphere of public administration and this lack of direction and vision is having a detrimental effect on the stewardship of the State and is manifesting itself in some strange developments here and abroad.

The financial sector is reeling from the abuse meted out by significant players bent on the most corrupt assault on the people in the recent past, and none of the trusted institutions charged with safeguarding the State or the citizens were seen to be about the people's business. Listening to the Commission of Enquiry into the CLICO fiasco one cannot help but be overwhelmed by the sheer scope of the conspiracy and the manic statuary failure that allowed it to prevail, and now, in its wake, we have tens of thousands of dispossessed people hoping for a resolution while the Attorneys for all sides settle down to the game of who did what to whom.

Government itself is seen as a path to personal enrichment through corruption and the association of white collared criminals among our hallowed halls is turning our Parliament into a well dressed game of police and thief. The Parliamentary Code of Ethics has been challenged and defeated (if such a thing is possible to contemplate) to push a questionable appointment through, and the very architects of the thing are standing by mute while our Legislature is made into an international joke.

Business leaders, long driven by profit and the bottom line only lend their voice and reason where their interests lie, and profiteering, price gouging and legal slavery are being allowed to run amok unquestioned by anything resembling authority.

The Ministry of Health, its hospitals and the medical institutions in its charge are failing at delivering the quality of service that could and should be expected based on the quantum of the funding this sector enjoys, and it is not a far stretch to assume that were the hospitals all to be privatized competitively and the funding given to the Health Sector paid into a contributory medical insurance plan for all the people that we would not all be much better served.

The Education sector appears to be devolving and is in fact producing functioning illiterates at an alarming rate. More of a nation wide baby sitting service than a results based school system, our children are being denied the opportunity to excel simply because our teachers and their managers are not inclined to. Again, were the funds paid to the schools used to support privatized and competing facilities where quotas and budgets could be set based on results over time, we could quickly move from mediocrity to excellence and give our youth a substantial edge in a competitive world. I have suggested in the past that the Ministries of Health and Education be made to work together to make teaching hospitals of many of our medical institutions, setting the groundwork for an immediate increase in the production of medical professionals, doctors, nurses, technicians and teachers fueling our development from within.

I could go on and on in sector by public sector but I think that my point is made, that many of these masquerading as leaders are in fact guilty of leading their followers astray. Our greatest failure is that we are hurting our younger generations by this demonstrated lack of integrity and morality in public life, forcing a hopelessness and an abandonment upon them that should itself be considered a crime. Now where the future of our nation should be seen to be growing we have instead shallow lives and wanton violence mimicking the base and the lowest in us.

Maya Angelou said it best when she said - 'There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic, because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.'

The truth of the matter is that we have to become much more circumspect in the choices we make as we haven't had leaders of substance or vision for quite some time. This more than anything else is where the rubber meets the road; That we are long overdue for a clean sweep and a replacement from captain to cook on all sides is clear, as we could not possibly do worse than what obtains now even if we set out to.

Who Wants to be Prime Minister... (Updated Proposal)

Observing the mad success and popularity of Project Runway and the other foreign Reality TV Shows on our population got me thinking, how come no one else has tried to seize the opportunity and take it to the next level Trini style?

After much mulling over I came up with what I believe would be a surefire hit, and the following is my proposal for a reality TV show called "Who Wants to be Prime Minister."

The show would be open to all political hopefuls and aspiring nationals and could solve many of our political woes in one move; it could also replace costly and excessive election campaigns, elect us leaders based on the popular vote while giving us some good entertainment while we're at it, all from the comfort of our living rooms.

How it would work:

All of the contestants would be taken to a remote island for seven weeks where they would undergo seven gruelling challenges, at the end of which the winning team would be asked to form the Government with their leader being named Prime Minister. They would then be whisked away to champagne days and caviar nights at La Fantasie, while the losing team would be flogged mercilessly with wet towels for a week and fed three day old rock cake and warm mauby for the duration. They would also be asked to form the official Opposition.

Challenges:

- Week 1

Challenge - Who's your Bagman 

This challenge puts contestants from each team in a room full of money and garbage bags for five minutes; The team that bags and hides all of their money first wins.  - 20 Points

(This challenge is not open to past or present employees of Price Waterhouse Coopers)

- Week 2

Challenge - Piffle

This challenge gives both teams the opportunity to have one member speak non stop for five minutes. The first team to speak for the full five minutes while making absolutely no sense at all wins - 20 Points 

- Week 3

Challenge - Sex Lies & Videotape

Both teams will be given a box full of props from which to assemble something; first team to build something useless utilizing all props while simultaneously billing the State for it through multiples of dummy Companies wins. - 20 points

(Past or present Board Members of CLICO, CIB, CL Financial or any other CLICO subsidiary not eligible)

- Week 4

Challenge - Crossing the Floor

Both teams will be given twenty minutes to convince one or more of the other team to come over to their side; first team to successfully attract an opponent to cross the floor wins. - 10 points

[NB - this challenge is not open to anyone with the last name Lasse or Griffith or who may be related to Ralph Maraj]  

- Week 5

Challenge - What I really want to be

All contestants will be given five minutes to convince the judges of a career they would rather be pursuing if they do not succeed at becoming Prime Minister.

Pastor - 5 points Pundit – 5 points Preacher  - 5 points Dressmaker 5 points Nightclub DJ - 10 points 

- Week 6

Challenge - Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Each contestant will be given an unaccounted for million dollars and fifteen minutes to explain to the judges how they came to have it and why they should not be charged under the Integrity in Public Life Act

- Week 7 

Challenge - Friends, Real Friends & Accomplices

Both sides will be given a team of high powered Attorneys and a list of friends and crimes they are are suspected of committing; first team to get all of their friends off wins. - 50 points 


[Closing]

It is intended that the show be as technically current as possible and the producers are looking into having the public 'vote' for their choices using mobile phones as they worked so well for the Chutney and Soca Monarch shows.

This show hopes to attract many sponsors including Royal Castle, Stone Street Capital, Maritime Insurance and the People's Republic of China among others.

All contestants would also receive an all expense paid vacation to Malaysia Courtesy The Calder Hart Institute for Ethics in Business Affairs.

Literary Brilliance... (Trinidad Style)

Talking to a world famous  publisher about my book recently, he was surprised that i was unaware of the many Trinidadians & Tobagonians whose works have already been published and was happy to give me a list.

This is a reproduction of that list, and I am sure you would be just as surprised as I am as to some of the writers and their stories in the list:

The great Gatsby - Ian Alleyne

One man's journey from insignificance to fame and back again in quick time. 

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - Machel Montano

Machel reminisces about a time when he too thought he was 'too young to soca;' when he was his most artistic and original self.

The Sound and The Fury - Ancil Roget

Long since retired from the rough housing of union life, Mr. Roget in his later years was known to march around his own house screaming demands at his wife and chanting, much to his neighbors' dismay.

Catch 22 - Dr. Keith Rowley

Written from the perspective of a politician who dared to dream in a Political Party where everyone wants to dream too.

Darkness at Noon - Sat Maharaj

The third in his three part series on his love affair with big boned black women, the author is unafraid to release his raw sexual energy onto the page. Famous for his saying 'once you go black there's no going back,' the literary world awaits with baited breath where this talented writer goes from here.

The Grapes of Wrath - (non fiction)

A collection of internal memos from a large food import Company, outlining how to get cheap D grade grapes onto the local market at exorbitant prices. See also 'The Apples of Wrath' and 'The Pears of Wrath.'

Nineteen Eighty Four -  Surujatattan Rambachan

A signature work of a political ideology frozen in time. Includes contributions from Dr. Carson Charles, Bhoe Tewarie and Jenson Fox.

Invisible Man - Prakash Ramadhar

A legal luminary in his own right, this work describes his fall from grace and disappearance from the public view by being elected to political Office.

A Passage to India - Roodal Moonilal

Drugged one night, bound and packed as cargo aboard an ocean going vessel, join Roody as he tries to find out who would do this to him and who paid his passage on a Taiwanese trawler.

Tender is the Night - Patrick Manning

A love story like no other, Patrick tells of his heartbreaking addiction to sada roti, and the journeys spent in search of it in other people's homes.

The Naked and the Dead - Marlene McDonald

 Describing her fondness for eating raw chicken in the nude, this is a tale that many say should not have been published, others say especially the pictures. Shown the book and asked to comment, famous author and publisher Warch Narmann commented 'Oh God my eyes.'

From Here to Eternity - Basdeo Panday

Having vowed to die with his boots on, this former Trade Union Leader, Opposition Leader and Prime Minister writes in his memoirs that he will be contesting his much loved Couva North constituency in 2022.

The Postman Always Rings Twice - Kamla Persad Bissessar

Few have been able to put into words the horrors of a ringing doorbell on a hangover, and in this open and revealing work the writer shares the effect of a ringing phone on a hangover, a neighbor's lawnmower on a hangover, a passing plane on a hangover, singing birds on a hangover, etc. 

Lord of the Flies - Austin jack Warner

Part two to his revealing 'Lord of the Files' and the precursor to 'Lord of the Fools,' the last installment of a trilogy of political intrigue and conquest by a man some say has never met a man of integrity that he spoke to twice.

Personally I was very impressed that such abundance of work exists and surprised that I was unaware that so many of my fellow country men were already published.

This augers well for the future of local writers struggling to find their place in a crowded literary world and paves the way for greater things to come.